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Case in point: my first date. I was a freshman in high school, and a senior I had a crush on asked me to dinner. He knew I was diabetic, but when my sweet potato enchiladas arrived, I didn’t check my blood sugar or take any insulin because I was too embarrassed to do it in front of him. My blood sugar ended up getting super high, and I got really tired, headache-y, and just felt totally out of it. Needless to say, that date didn’t go well. But experiences like this one made me realize that my wellbeing trumps feeling cool. That prompted me to be more open with guys I dated.
So two years ago, when I found myself in a scary situation, I did what I needed to do. I was sleeping over at a guy’s place, and my blood sugar dipped dangerously low at 2 a.m. I nearly fell off of his bed because I was so shaky. When I checked, I was at 35 mg/dL (to put that in perspective, my normal blood sugar range is 90 to 150mg/dL).
It was such an extreme low that I used up all of the emergency sugar tablets I had in my bag. In fact, I’d never been that low before, so I actually woke him up. Luckily, he knew the routine, scavenged for some Pop Tarts, and within 15 minutes, I was back to normal. I hesitated to wake him, though. I’ve always wanted to tackle my diabetes alone because I don’t want to be a burden to anyone else.
Photograph courtesy of Christina Bartson
Sometimes, I’ll get some pretty funny responses to my type 1 diabetes—and one of my favorites happened recently. I was with a guy I’d been spending a lot of time with, and we were about to have sex for the first time together. I showed him my insulin pump, stuck on my left hip, and let him explore this sensitive, strange part of my body. Then he said, jokingly, “So, you’re kind of like a cyborg, right?” I laughed. He followed this up by asking about how it felt to wear it. He worried he would knock it off and hurt me, but he didn’t.
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For a long time, I thought type 1 diabetes was an unattractive trait. For example, I didn’t like being naked because I have scar tissue on my hips from my insulin pump. Sadly, I’m not alone in this. According to a recent report from Accu-Check Connect and Roche Diabetes, Inc., 42 percent of people with diabetes (this includes both type 1 and 2) feel that the disease makes them seem less “dateable.”
But this thinking is entirely focused on the external aspects of the disease. I might be young—I’m 21—but over the years, I’ve realized that my diabetes has actually taught me a lot, and I’m grateful for that. I’ve learned to have patience with myself and others, prioritize my health, and appreciate the pauses diabetes makes me take (whether that’s to check my blood sugar, take insulin, or talk about it—especially while getting to know a new guy). I’d call that a win.