I thought I knew a lot about female sexuality, but after having sex expert Emily Nagoski come by the show, I realized how much more there was to it! Emily has been writing and educating about sex for 20 years, and has taken special interest in helping women achieve more pleasure, more often, and more confidently. She has a bestselling new book out called Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, and we covered all the bases in our chat together.
Disappearing Desire
If your desire towards your partner has faded, or even disappeared overnight, what does that mean? Will it ever come back? Is there something wrong with you?
Emily suggests that “context†plays a key role in this thinking. If you’re not feeling safe or comfortable in your environment, almost anything, no matter how previously pleasant, can be seen not only as unappealing, but also as threat. And when something is even the slightest bit threatening, it can derail any type of arousal you might have built up. It’s the number one thing that causes you mind to hit the “brakes†and prevent pleasure from happening.
Listen to Emily Nagoski Talk About The “Pedals†And “Brakes†Of Our Sexual Minds Here
Two Sides of Tickling
We’ve all experienced this with duality with tickling, as Emily goes on to explain. “When you’re in a sexy, fun, groovy state of mind, and a special someone starts tickling you, that can feel good; but if you’re stressed out and angry with your partner, and they start tickling you, you may want to respond with a punch in the face.†Shift the context, change the environment, and see if that illuminates your feelings any more than before.
Check out the full interview with Emily here.
And be sure to pick up a copy of Emily’s bestselling new book, Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life!
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