healthmedicinet

In an ideal world, we would all be born with perfectly attuned parents who love us truly and are there for us whenever we need them, but who also give us just the right amount of space and independence to flourish and fully develop our unique selves. Parents would provide a solid base from which we could venture out as separate individuals. They’d make us feel safe, seen and soothed… and therefore, secure. While this all sounds great, Dr. Ed Tronick, an Associate Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard University, has found in his research that even the best parents, the ones who form secure relationships with their kids, only get it right about 30 percent of the time. For pretty much everyone, relationships with our early caretakers are complex and likely include some frustration and pain. Yet, whether we grew up with a secure or insecure attachment pattern, one thing is for sure, our present relationships are heavily influenced by our earliest attachments.