In the decade since I first acquired a camera phone, I have sent exactly two pictures of my penis to other people.
The first went to my mom. But that was because she’s a nurse and I was having an eczema problem. (Read more about that harrowing experience.)
The second went to a woman who asked nicely for one. I was hesitant to oblige at first because I predicted (rightfully so) that things might ultimately not work out and she would be left with a picture of my penis to distribute as she saw fit. But then I remembered it didn’t really matter if people did see a snapshot of my manhood.
Why don’t I habitually send d*ck pics? Well, for one thing, I do not find penises to be at all aesthetically pleasing, and I don’t suspect that most women do, either.
But I know plenty of men who send them often. Here are some of the reasons guys send unsolicited photos so often:
Look: We live in an age of rampant narcissism where very many people believe that they are better than they are, sexier than they are, and that people care about them and want to know all about them, regardless of the level of personal familiarity. The digital saturation of d*ck pics is a symptom of that. Some guys out there are really into themselves and their phalluses, and they assume that you will be, too. It’s kind of like how girls who take duck face selfies don’t realize that practically nobody wants to see that.
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Many of us men don’t understand that our hormonal desire to see pictures of breasts and/or vaginas doesn’t often translate equally to the other side of the sexual spectrum. Some guys just assume that a woman will start salivating when she sees their package, like we salivate when we see a nipple.
As, like, gratitude or something.
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You know how some people will use trickery to make themselves look bigger or smaller or altogether better-looking? Well, you can do that with a schlong shot, too. There’s no size scale in most of these pics unless it’s intentional (like posing your shaft next to a soup can). Also, I’ve heard the camera adds 10 pounds.
The online dating world is completely insane for women. I get maybe one OkCupid message a month from a girl I haven’t messaged first. My roommate recently opened an account, and she got more than 100 messages in a single day. She also says that once she gives a man her number, he’ll often get drunk and send her some package pics without her ever asking for them. What I’m saying is that dudes are #thirsty, women have many options due to technology, and so online dating can be a frustrating practice for a guy. So some men lash out in horrible ways. You don’t answer their message? They start talking down to you or being outright mean. Or they send you a picture of their penis. Because that’ll show ‘em what they’re missing!
I’m sure there are other reasons. There have to be. If you’re really wondering why a guy sent you a dick pic—especially if you are uncomfortable with or upset about it—ask him why he found it appropriate to do so. If his answer isn’t satisfactory, never speak to him again. Trust me, there are plenty of guys out there who aren’t going to send you unsolicited X-rated pics. Like me. (I’m so lonely and single.)
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Scott Muska is a writer in New York City. You can follow him on Twitter @scottmuska, or email him at [email protected].