Woman’s anger after parents say ‘there are worse things’ than being infertile


  • The anonymous woman told of her grief after her parents failed to comfort her when she delivered the news that she is unable to have children 
  • Father said ‘never mind’, before showing off their new coffee pot
  • Turned to Mumsnet for support after blasting their response to her news

Unity Blott For Mailonline

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A woman has spoken of her grief after her parents failed to comfort her following the news that she is infertile.

Mumsnet user mockonmockon said they told her that ‘a lot of people have it worse’ after she went to their house with her husband to share the news.

Her father even said ‘never mind’, before showing off his new coffee pot and suggesting they watch nature videos on his laptop together.

The Mumsnet user spoke of her grief after her parents failed to comfort her following the news that she is infertile – and tried to distract her by talking about their new coffee pot instead

Mockonmockon left feeling even more upset, and asked Mumsnet users whether they thought she was being unreasonable.

She recalled tearfully telling her parents that she is unable to conceive due to scarring caused by operations.

But rather than offer a shoulder to cry on, her father replied: ‘There are worse things that can happen, you know. A lot worse. A lot of people have it worse. You need to count your blessings.’

While her mother added: ‘Never mind. You have things to do, like your allotment.’

Mockonmockon said they told her that ‘a lot of people have it worse’ after she went to their house with her husband to share the news that she and her husband were unable to conceive

Her parents then went on to tell her that she wasn’t ‘really maternal’ and that her role is to support her husband’s ‘high-flying job’ adding: ‘Doing the washing is really important.’

She told how, after she began to ‘cry harder’, her parents attempted to distract her by saying: ‘So many birds in the garden’ with her mother launching into a lengthy conversation about collared doves.’

They then started gushing over their new coffee pot, explaining: ‘It cost forty pounds but it has been worth it.’

Dozens of Mumsnetters flocked to offer their support, branding her parents’ behaviour as ‘s***’ – with one labelling the episode ‘one big clumsy mess of insensitivity’

Her mother added: ‘Life is tough, you only get glimmers of good times then big blows, like cancer. Get used to it. It’s good to have a good cry though.’

The family then sat down to watch ’34 nature videos’ on the laptop while ‘everyone pretends I’m not crying.’

She added: ‘At no point does anyone give me a hug or even touch me. I have never felt so alone.’

Dozens of Mumsnetters flocked to offer their support, branding her parents’ behaviour as ‘s***’. 

Another member said their behaviour sounded like a ‘typical British response’ – adding that it was ‘still s***’ while JubaLoo442 called it a ‘bizarre and strange reaction’

U2HasTheEdge wrote: ‘ That is pretty s***. Some people are s*** when it comes to dealing with other people’s pain. They just needed to listen to you and hold you while you cried. 

‘They didn’t really need to say anything did they? I am so sorry OP [original poster].’

Another member said their behaviour  sounded like a ‘typical British response’ – adding that it was ‘still s***’ while JubaLoo442 called it a ‘bizarre and strange reaction’.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe labelled the episode ‘one big clumsy mess of insensitivity’ and suggested she write her parents an email to explain how they made her feel.

But CremeBrulee wrote: ‘Not really seeing theproblem. They were trying to be kind supportive but didn’t know how to react or what to say. What response did you want/expect?’

Others suggested the couple had been trying to comfort her the best way they knew how – with one saying: ‘They sound like they were clumsily trying to make you feel better.’ 

MillionToOneChances wrote ‘Not everyone is capable of giving the support we might want from them, but that doesn’t mean they’re not great in other ways. Though your parents sound very bleak in general.’

However not everyone was outraged with CremeBrulee writing: ‘Not really seeing theproblem. They were trying to be kind supportive but didn’t know how to react or what to say. What response did you want/expect?’

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