The movie went on to be a success and Mila points out that she “did work in this town again, and again, and again.” “What this producer may never realize is that he spoke aloud the exact fear every woman feels when confronted with gender bias in the workplace,” she says. “It’s what we are conditioned to believe—that if we speak up, our livelihoods will be threatened; that standing our ground will lead to our demise. We don’t want to be kicked out of the sandbox for being a ‘bitch.’ So we compromise our integrity for the sake of maintaining the status quo and hope that change is coming.”
Mila says she’s faced moments throughout her career when she’s been insulted, sidelined, paid less, ignored creatively, and “otherwise diminished based on my gender.” She says she’s always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, but eventually realized it was kind of BS.
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So, she says, she started her “own club,” a production company with three women. “Since our inception, we have been lucky enough to partner with incredible producers, male and female, who have treated us as true equals and partners,” she says.
However, she says, she faced some serious sexism again when her company signed on to work with an “influential male producer” on a project that would focus, ironically, on inclusivity.
In the pitch process to a major network, follow-up emails were sent to executives at the network. This male producer chose to email the following:
“And Mila is a mega star. One of biggest actors in Hollywood and soon to be Ashton’s wife and baby momma!!!”
“This is the entirety of his email,” she writes. “Factual inaccuracies aside, he reduced my value to nothing more than my relationship to a successful man and my ability to bear children. It ignored my (and my team’s) significant creative and logistical contributions.”
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As a result, Mila and her company stopped working on the project.
“Yes, it is only one small comment,” she says. “But it’s these very comments that women deal with day in and day out in offices, on calls, and in emails—microaggressions that devalue the contributions and worth of hard-working women.” Mila says she doesn’t want to vilify the producer, but wants to make it known that his comments aren’t OK.
“I’m done compromising; even more so, I’m done with being compromised,” she says. “So from this point forward, when I am confronted with one of these comments, subtle or overt, I will address them head on; I will stop in the moment and do my best to educate. I cannot guarantee that my objections will be taken to heart, but at least now I am part of creating an environment where there is the opportunity for growth. And if my comments fall on deaf ears, I will choose to walk away.”
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Finally, Mila ended with this message: “I will work in this town again, but I will not work with you.”