It’s Never Too Late to Bring Up Unfinished Business

There’s a commonly held belief shared by many couples that after a certain point at which the time to bring up or continue an unfinished conversation (particularly one in which there is disagreement) is passed. That is, any attempt by one partner to revisit an issue that he or she felt incomplete with will be met with a refusal to re-engage with the subject. “That’s history,” “We already discussed this,” “You should have said this yesterday when we were having the conversation,” and “It’s too late to bring it up now.” These are some examples of responses that couples hear from each other when one of them doesn’t want to reopen a matter that they would rather not discuss. One of the things that couples with great relationships have in common is a shared commitment to talk about any issue that feels incomplete or unfinished with either of them, regardless of whether or when it may have previously been addressed.