It took a while for me to realize that the best way to bring a tampon to the bathroom is just to hold it in your hand.
Most women have their period once a month, and the average menstrual cycle is 28 days, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Having a period is healthy and highlights that your body is normal and functioning properly.
But if my period comes early and I don’t have a tampon on me, why do I feel like I have to whisper when I ask a friend for one? Why is there so much shame? Why do I have to hide the tampon in the first place?
In society, women tend to be treated as objects and placed in questionable positions in advertisements. However, as soon as a little bit of blood leaks, everyone flips out, and once that happens, that woman is no longer a woman to be desired. Many men are grossed out by it. I know this from personal experience; one guy I dated a while ago, Max*, agreed to have sex when I was on my period, but looked at the bloodied sheets with disgust when we were done. I stared at the stain, mortified. I kept apologizing, but he barely looked at me and was more irritated than understanding. We haven’t spoken since.
Menstruation is a part of life and there should be no shame or embarrassment associated with it — yet there is. Women deal with their periods regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. Why is a normal and healthy bodily function for women shunned?
If you’re told often enough that your period is gross and guys don’t like it, you may end up believing it and feeling self-conscious. But if you meet a guy who doesn’t care — it changes things. A guy’s opinion on the female body shouldn’t matter, but in this warped society where women are constantly sexualized and exist on the big screen mostly for the male gaze, a guy’s opinion on the female body unfortunately matters more than it should.
On the subway ride home from Max’s apartment, all I could think about was that red stain on his white sheets, and I tried to figure out why my cheeks were burning and why I was so ashamed. Why was I so embarrassed to talk to a guy about my period? Why did I have to apologize for something that most women go through once a month? Why was I apologizing so much? Why was I apologizing for my body?
I was really nervous a few weeks ago about telling a guy I was seeing that I was on my period — we had chemistry, we had great conversations, and being together just felt right. I said I was on my period and, um, would he mind having sex with me while on my period? He said he didn’t care. He’s had girlfriends who’ve been on their period. He brushed it off nonchalantly as a non-issue. Of course it’s OK.
That comfort and acceptance helped me be OK with it, too. There’s no shame in being a woman and there’s definitely no shame in being a woman who has a period. There’s also no shame in being a woman who wants to have sex while on her period.
I don’t care if you see me holding a tampon anymore. I don’t care if you see me pass out a tampon or a pad to one of my friends or acquaintances or to a random woman who needs a tampon because her period came early or because she forgot it at home or because why does the reason matter at all? It should be normal to go to the bathroom and hold a tampon, but it isn’t. I’m proud of my body. I’m proud I’m a woman.
So, no, I’m not going to hide my tampon and I’m not going to be embarrassed about my period anymore. And you shouldn’t be, either.
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Yearling | $6.99 | Amazon.com
“It tackles religion, the awkwardness of adolescence, and the weird contraptions that women used to use when they first got their periods. (References to the “belt†definitely confused me as a kid.)†-Kathleen Massara, Editor, Huffington Post Arts
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Anchor | $10.20 | Amazon.com
“In the near future, the United States is overthrown by a group called the Sons of Jacob. The bank accounts of women and other undesirables are frozen, and a group known as Handmaids become the hosts for the future children of the ruling class. This book will haunt you, and is a reminder of how easy it is for extremists to take over… Once they do, the target is often women. (No thanks, Santorum!)†-Kathleen Massara, Editor, Huffington Post Arts
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Mariner Books | $10.40 | Amazon.com
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Norton | $10.55 | Amazon
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Bedford/St. Martin’s | $12.32 | Amazon.com
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Simon Schuster | $5.99 | Amazon.com
“I feel like he always includes extremely strong female characters, especially for the time period.†-Zoë Triska, Associate Editor, Huffington Post Books
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Bantam Classics | $5.95 | Amazon.com
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Picador | $10.99 | Amazon.com
“A much better pick for women than Middlesex…for some reason, he is REALLY able to capture what it is like to be a teenage girl in that book.†-Zoë Triska, Associate Editor, Huffington Post Books
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Signet Classics | $3.95 | Amazon.com
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Putnam Adult | $11.28 | Amazon.com
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-Ann Brenoff, Senior Writer, Huffington Post L.A.
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Summit | $12.00 | Amazon.com
“The best novel of the women’s liberation movement†-Ann Brenoff, Senior Writer, Huffington Post L.A.
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NAL Trade | $10.88 | Amazon.com
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Vintage | $10.20 | Amazon.com
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Picador | $10.20 | Amazon.com
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Harper Perennial | $16.49 | Amazon.com
-Kimberly Brooks, Founding Editor, Huffington Post Arts and Editor, Huffington Post Science
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Little, Brown and Co. | $11.08 | Amazon.com
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Avon | $4.99 | Amazon.com
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Harper Perennial Modern Classics | $10.04 | Amazon.com
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Reagan Arthur Books | $16.19 | Amazon.com
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Little, Brown and Company | $6.99 | Amazon.com
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Little Brown | $14.10 | Amazon.com
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Little, Brown and Company | $18.47 | Amazon.com
-Meredith Melnick, Editor, The Huffington Post Nutrition and Fitness
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Grove Press | $10.17 | Amazon.com
“An insanely ambitious novel which is really a memoir and doesn’t apologize for that.†Margaret Wheeler Johnson, Editor, Huffington Post Women
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New Directions | $9.44 | Amazon.com
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Penguin | $8.47 | Amazon.com
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Penguin | $12.00 | Amazon.com
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Holt Paperbacks | $1.99 | Amazon.com
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Harper Perennial | $10.19 | Amazon.com
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Bantam | $12.20 | Amazon.com
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Knopf | $19.11 | Amazon.com
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PublicAffairs | $ | Amazon.com
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Broadway | $11.07 | Amazon.com
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Norton | 11.75 | Barnesandnoble.com
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Crown | $14.95 | Barnesandnoble.com
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HarperCollins | $17.57 | Barnesandnoble.com
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Free Press | $26 | Barnesandnoble.com
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Simon Pulse | $8.99 | Amazon.com
“I read this book shortly before I became sexually active. This book, featuring Planned Parenthood, spared me from teenage pregnancy.†Julia Jensen
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Amy Einhorn Books/Putnam | $14.82 | Amazon.com
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The Dial Press | $15.93 | Amazon.com
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Doubleday | $17.79 | Amazon.com
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Harper | $13.55 | Amazon.com
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Riverhead Hardcover | $13.98 | Amazon.com
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William Morrow Paperbacks | $11.69 | Amazon.com
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Knopf Books | $10.85 | Amazon.com
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Riverhead Books | $10.09 | Amazon.com
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Free Press | $9.74 | Amazon.com
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Bloomsbury USA | $13.60 | Amazon.com
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Bison Books | $15.56 | Amazon.com
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Harper Perennial Modern Classics | $10.87 | Amazon.com
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Harper Perennial Modern Classics| $11.55 | Amazon.com
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Vintage | $10.20 | Amazon.com
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Vintage | $11.20 | Amazon.com
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Grand Central Publishing | $7.99 | Amazon.com
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Mariner Books | $7.95 | Amazon.com
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Bantam Classics | $4.95 | Amazon.com
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Harper Perennial | $10.19 | Amazon.com
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