What It’s Like to Go to a Sex Party

What comes to mind when you think of a sex party? Is it a big club full of writhing bodies? Or how about two couples swapping partners? Maybe your mind goes to a cruise packed with people interested in rocking each other’s boats? Interestingly enough, a sex party can be all of the above, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., the founder of Sexpert.com. And a full nine percent of people have been to one, while 13 percent say they would, according to a March 2015 poll by YouGov and The Huffington Post. Here’s everything you wanted to know about sex parties and how to figure out if you might want to try one out.
 

It depends on the type, but tons of sex parties allow couples to attend. If you and your guy are on the same page, it might even bring you closer together. “Sex parties can potentially improve your relationship,” says Cadell. “The experience of having sex with new people can certainly satisfy a type of voyeuristic excitement, especially for the man, and they can enhance feelings of sexual freedom for the woman.” Much like having an open relationship, you’ve just got to set some boundaries. “Clarify what you’re looking for, whether it’s a threesome, just watching other people, or having multiple partners,” says Cadell. Then start searching for what you want on sites like Adult Friend Finder (clearly NSFW). After the experience, make sure to check in with each other to see how you both feel about the experience.

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Most couples you see at a sex party have had an intense conversation about what’s off-limits. “Some people decide they can’t kiss other people or they can’t have sex in separate rooms or no internal ejaculation is allowed,” says Cadell. If you’ve decided to try out a sex party with your partner, you should both be in total agreement about what is and isn’t allowed. And safe to say, if either of you is the jealous type or way more interested in sex with other people, you should avoid sex parties altogether.

And they’ll most likely be gorgeous. “Most parties welcome single women but not single men, and many sex parties emphasize looks and youth,” says Cadell. Some parties even require an application with a photo first. “There are a lot of women who are sexually free, uninhibited, and truly are exhibitionists who enjoy having great one-night stands,” says Cadell. If you’re single and interested in attending one, be cautious. “Do your research,” says Cadell. “Figure out the rules of the club, and I’d advise going there to watch before you dive in.” And definitely bring your own condoms.

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“It’s an amazing world with options for every person on the planet,” says Cadell. For example, there are BDSM sex parties, where everyone involved is interested in some kink. There’s what’s called a Club 10 party, which is an exclusive party of hot, successful people. Some gatherings take place in what’s known as a “party house,” which is someone’s home as opposed to a club. And there are some services like Topless Travel (NSFW), which offer trips for people interested in swinging.

Most sex parties have various rules in place to make sure everyone feels safe and respected. “Many clubs post their rules on their Web sites,” says Cadell. “It’s really important to look at them because they cover things like substance abuse, never touching people without permission, and obeying condom rules.” They often have someone in charge of enforcing those rules so that if anyone misbehaves, they get a warning. That level of care helps ensure that people feel comfortable experimenting. “Overall, sex parties are a great way to turn your fantasies into a reality,” says Cadell.

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