We’ve all felt the temptation: Your partner’s phone is sitting on the couch, pinging with texts, and you know you could read them while he’s in the bathroom without getting caught. “I would estimate that over 80 percent of people have snuck a peek at their partner’s phone, and almost all people have thought about it,” says relationship expert Dawn Michael, Ph.D., author of My Husband Won’t Have Sex with Me.
Snooping (or wanting to snoop) might not be uncommon, but it doesn’t mean it’s right, she says. It means your relationship’s not quite as rock solid as you thought: “If you catch your S.O. doing that, they’re likely struggling with trust. Perhaps they’re feeling fear, or they’re fantasizing about finding something,” says psychologist Brandy Engler, Ph.D., author of The Women on My Couch.
Follow this crisis manual for handling a first time phone scandal.